Rush Limbaugh vs. Howard Stern at Sea

Hello from Kiel, Germany … the first spot we’ve had a chance to get a good enough Wi-Fi signal to update our travels. It’s also the first place where it actually felt like summer, with sunny skies and temps pushing 80.

Since the fjords in Norway, we’ve hit Invergordon, Scotland. Then on Sunday, Edinburgh. There wasn’t a lot in Invergordon, though the town is known for its many murals. And there was a grocery store where we could buy laundry detergent to clean clothes in our sink. On this ship (The Eurodam), Holland America has done away with guest laundry rooms, which on an 18 day cruise like this are kind of nice to have. Here, they will do your laundry for you … at their prices. “Only” $2.00 for one pair of sox. “Only” $2.00 for one pair of underwear. “Only” $2.50 for a t-shirt. They will do one entire bag of laundry for “only” $20.00. The bag is the size of a small plastic grocery bag that you find in the produce department. After spending as much as you do just to go on the cruise, it’s rather insulting that they gouge you for something as basic as laundry. But, it’s their ship (in their defense, they did give us a free bottle of wine and a note of apology because the service in the main dining room has been so bad, but that’s another story).

On to Edinburgh, where a tender ride from the ship was followed by a bus ride and 40 minutes later we were in the heart of the historic city. The Edinburgh Castle, The Royal Jewels, The Royal Mile, The Royal Fountain, the Royal Gardens … we walked our royal asses off (we figured we trekked about 6 miles) and had a royal good time. When you were raised in a state that wasn’t even founded until 1849, it’s amazing to see buildings that were built and history that was unfolding centuries before Columbus was even born. And they are still in good shape … and they are still clean … and they still are not covered by graffiti (though Kurt though they could invest in a royal power washer to spruce up the old buildings a bit). Someone said it reminded them of Victoria, BC, but a lot older. One thing missing … no bag pipe players, except some homeless dude which was cool.

Tuesday, we returned to Dover, where 2000 passengers left the ship, 2000 new passengers got on, and only 300 of us stayed on from the previous leg. After some clothes shopping, we hiked to the top of the mountain (more like a big hill) above the chalky white cliffs that look out over the channel. Here, we toured the fortress that has guarded England from invaders from the 1600s through WWII. The most fascinating past was the underground tour where the military built miles of tunnels. Here, many of the battles of WWII planned, an underground hospital was established, and living quarters were built for military leaders. Tuesday, we walked closed to 10 miles.


OK, as for life on board, it’s always somewhat interesting. Sea days are kind of cool. We just had one on Wednesday. You pretty much do whatever you want. For me, that means just hanging (for Kurt, it means watching a lot of Wimbledon on TV). Since gorging at the dining hall isn’t my thing on these things, a light breakfast was followed by a visit to the computer lab, where various courses are taught (it’s sponsored by Microsoft, so you need to accept the Bill Gates party line, but nonetheless, it’s interesting to see what’s out there).

That class was on Internet security. It was a frustrating day for the instructor. A persistent, loud mouth woman kept interrupting the teacher, prefacing each outburst with “I’m sorry to interrupt again, but …” Now, if her questions would have been class appropriate, it might have been somewhat acceptable. However, she asked repeated questions about computer programs she has heard advertised on the Rush Limbaugh radio show and whether they were reliable. “Rush recommends this,” she would say. A moment later, “Rush recommends that.” Come on lady! It’s 2010! Is Limbaugh still on the air???? I felt like asking the instructor what she thought about the wife-swapping and dating websites I hear advertised on the Howard Stern Show, but I didn’t want anyone ending up in the ship infirmary from a Howard Stern induced heart attack. As the class broke up, I told the Limbaugh lunatic I have used Mozy.com for online back-ups. She said “Thank you, young man, but Rush never talks about that one.” Neither does Howard, but I didn’t go there.

Next, Estonia, then Russia on the Fourth of July.